Good morning, my friends! I hope everyone is doing well this fine Testimony Tuesday :)

Today, I would like to highlight a man who has left all his chains behind and is now following God and living his new sober life. John Miles is starting his content journey by speaking about addiction, recovery, and providing hope to other addicts to seek recovery and lay their past behind.

John truly inspires me. Living as an addict on the streets for 10 years, he is now 16 months clean and living life with new eyes. I think it’s quite beautiful that someone who has lived such a hard life now sees the beauty of God in the little things. He counts his blessings and provides a weekly gratitude post so "when we are having a hard time, we can look back on the post to remind us about all the things we are grateful for." John has so much that he can choose to look back on and dwell over, yet he moves forward every day with a new hope and gratitude for life.

A lot of people just look down on others and judges them by their outward appearances. Yet God tells us that he does not look at the outside but looks at our heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 ESV "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  John's heart is a servant’s heart, and he wants to help those from the same addictions and feelings of hopelessness. 

Verses that inspire me watching John's journey: 

John 13:34-35 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Matthew 22:37-39 ESV 

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Psalm 18:3 ESV

I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.

Psalm 142:5 ESV

I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

John is at the beginning of his content creator journey and could use some support from our amazing family on here. I will link his Facebook and Venmo below where you can like, follow, and donate to his recovery. We are all in this together, and it would be nice to help and support John, if you can. Thanks for reading this week, my friends. I love you, and pray for you always <3

Hello my friends! What a hot summer we are having down here in Florida!! Are you hot and swampy where you are at too?! I’m hard at work keeping our customers cool nationwide in our AC company I work for. 🥵 I can’t believe it’s been a month since I've last posted. Time is flying by. 

Today I would like to write about some peaceful progress God has made in my life. Remember where I was just a year ago, participating in pain and torment from what I believed my family was putting me through? Who I am today barely even resembles that girl! God is still at work in my life, and I am here to testify how great it is to be loved by him!

Sunday, I had lunch with my mom. Before I got there, I realized my debit card was left at the restaurant the night before, so it put me in a grumpy mood. I can be... how should we say this.. difficult to deal with and I can bring a dark cloud with me wherever I go. My spirit animal is Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, he still participates, but he is the depressed, gloomy one in the friend group. 

So, in a funk I arrived at lunch with my mom, her husband, and his parents. I hugged my mom and waved to her husband's parents. The Grandpa said, " Oh the evil eye is here." I’m sure he was joking, but a year ago that would have really made me mad. As long as I have been alive, I have always been the odd one out, and to say that before I even sat down made me feel that dissonance once again. So apparently, my rain cloud walked in with me.

I sat down and had my lunch and tried to perk up as much as I could so they would have a nice time. I made a joke and my mom, and I were laughing and it ended up being a really nice time. I hugged EVERYONE and thanked them for the lunch, and we went our separate ways. On the way home I felt the familiar feeling of guilt on why I always seem to be the one who brings the gloom, when Jesus has instilled such a radiant light inside of me.

At home, I could feel my triggers, I wanted to grab a cigarette or a drink and chill out, but I didn’t let the urges win. I am really proud of myself for being 18 months sober, and I am really enjoying who I have become. I even shared the photos on Facebook and wrote "thank you for inviting me into your life, Mom" ...Who am I??? The old me would have been salty for a little while longer.

I think this really illustrates God providing a peace beyond understanding. Instead of letting my flesh win, or my desires take over, I chose to be peaceful and thankful in my circumstance. I shared this with my best friend who has seen me utterly crippled by fear and anxiety before seeing my family, to now thanking my Mom for sharing her life with me. She had tears of pride in her eyes on how far I have come. 

The answer has been and will always be Jesus. Jesus set me free, Jesus breaks every chain, and Jesus loves my little Eeyore rain cloud. He understands me in ways my family never will, and I am so thankful he is bringing the peaceful era into my life. I have fought so hard for so long, to just be still in him is a true gift I will cherish forever.

The devil will always be chasing me, but the Holy Ghost runs faster ;). Remember to be kind to yourself. Its hard down here for each of us in different ways. Thankfully we have each other to hold onto when things get rough. I love you all!!! 

Forty Years

In Forty years

Of walking with you

Not once have you let me go

In all the years

I spent fighting myself

You never let it show

I could have been

Lost to the streets

With open wounds

And sores on my feet

In forty years

You protected

And covered me

Through it all

In forty years

You graciously picked me up

from my fall

In forty years

I would finally understand

What it feels like to

Not be afraid

In forty years

Walking with you

I finally understand

The bed that I made

In forty years

Of wondering

I remember the Isrealites

For they also wandered with you

In forty years

Of wandering then

You made a way

for everything to become new

In forty years

I thought I would die

Instead, you showed me

How to be alive

In forty years

You never left me once

But I did stumble and fall

In forty years

I finally understand

The point of life at all

For the next forty years

I eagerly walk with you

Lauging and sharing

this wonder with you

For the next forty years

I lay my life down to follow you.

Wherever we go

I know its gonna be cool.