Hello Friends! Welcome to Testimony Tuesday! Our favorite day of the week (except for Sunday😉)! This week's episode is titled "resting in dark places," as I wanted to highlight our struggles and why they are so great! I felt your side eye...but trust me! In our darkness, God is able to shine his light the most!

I would assume most of you would describe me as optimistic, cheerful, full of hope, and faith. I can assure you that this is not always the case. In case you haven't read in my posts, I have some pretty dark humor, which typically happens after trauma as a coping mechanism. Also, you have read some pretty self-deprecating articles, so no, I am not always the happy little creation God intended me to be.

While doing my coaching on my strengths, POSITIVITY was number 28/34, which is a pretty low/ dormant trait on the list. My coach made a statement, "God allowed you to rest in dark places, and you can not be positive all the time, as you were able to navigate some really hard stuff." That makes sense when you think about the people who REFUSE to wake up. Most of us on here want to stare death in the eyes so that we can confront it, and defeat it with God's love.

I have often stated, "I have the gift of pain," and I guess this was always true for me. In my life, I typically experience a deep hardship or loss, and someone close to me will find themselves on the same path later down the road. In being first to walk through the darkness, I am able to provide them a flashlight of God's wisdom and love so they don't have to navigate their situation alone. What a blessing that is to me, that God equipped me to rest in darkness so that I can offer his light to others when they pass by.  (Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.) Psalm 91:1.

I hope that by sharing my voice and my experiences, I can bring hope to the hopeless and strength to those who need it! I've really come to learn we are all in this together, no one makes it out alive, and if we can help our brothers or sisters out while we still have time left on Earth, why don't we?! Be the smile that no one offered you, be the example a child needed to see, be who you were created to be! I love you so much!

Short and sweet this week, but I wanted to share the rambles of my mind so we had something to glorify God with! All the glory to God, every breath that he allows me to take is a gift. And to think what I would have missed out on in my life if I had listened to the devil and ended it all a long time ago! Life is beautiful if you cut out the noise! Be blessed this week!!! 

Hello Friends! Today, we are looking at John Hill Jr.'s Testimony, "From Darkness to Light." John Hill Jr., formerly known as Boonk Gang, now known as Holy Gabbanna, is working for God's Army instead of the Army of Darkness. He is using his social media platforms to usher other lost souls to Jesus Christ.

John had a tumultuous childhood. After his father passed, his mother buried herself into work to keep up on the family's finances. John was often left alone, so he found himself chasing trouble to keep himself entertained. John noticed another social media user was getting a lot of views from posting their antics, and he thought he could do the same. So, his social media stardom began with him filming the worldly things that brought him joy. 

John's sister shared his video on her Facebook account, and his video hit a million views. At the time, he thought he hit the jackpot. He thought, "Now I've got to do this 100 more times!" John had 10,000 followers when he started, and he started posting videos of himself stealing and creating disorder. He thought, "How can I go to jail today?" each time he created content so he could go viral. In John's heart, he really wanted to make his name known; "Boonk Gang." Looking back at things now, he said God was using that fire to make his own name known.

John was searching for a better life, and he didn't know how to do it on his own. He realized that God had so much in store for him and that John didn't have the skills to do it alone. John remembers getting out of jail with no bus fare to return home, and his mother didn't want to come get him. His mother would drive past him while he was walking in the street, and all John longed for was a comfortable life. 

John's examples in life were basically "If I want it, I've got to take it myself." No one ever told him to surrender and go to God. That, if you lay it down to God, he will give you all the desires of your heart. John notes that once you ask God for your heart's desire, he will give it to you, and that it won't fill you with pride. He will never give you something you want that draws you away from him, but rather, he will give you whatever you want as a relationship tool to bring you closer to him. 

From the outside looking in, John had everything he asked for. He started to have fame, he started to get all the attention he felt he missed as a child, but inside he was still lost, left hurting and empty. He said "Money just amplifies who you really are.. If you are a bad person, it will make you more evil." He said that who he was on the inside was a broken, angry person. After all this fame, he found himself in jail. In Jail, John met our Father, Jesus Christ.

John found he was very popular in jail, too popular that the security guards had to move him to isolation and then found him a new cellmate. His cellmate named Joshua, asked him, "Do you believe in Jesus?" And John answered, "Yes, I believe in Jesus." As a kid, he was taught about Jesus, but was never taught as an adult how to LIVE for Jesus. The example he had a kid was they went to church on Sunday morning, believed in Jesus, but then came home, and he was beaten and yelled at all night.

Like many of us, he felt repelled by "Christians" who look fake and do not bear the fruits of the Spirit. His cellmate Joshua was always talking about Jesus, and John started to ask him questions to get to know Jesus more. John said that even though the seed was planted wrong, it was still planted, because when his cellmate asked if he believed about Jesus, he said yes. (Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old, he will not depart from it.)

John found himself singing "Jesus loves you, for he died on the cross for our sins..." His cellmate poured Jesus into him and showed him so much love. Jail has no love inside the walls. John started singing about Jesus' love to fill the cells of the jail with hope. John would sing to others to keep his spirits up, but at night he would cry himself to sleep. One night as he was crying, he felt a peace wash over him. His cellmate Josh told him "You just had an encounter with the Holy Spirit" 

For now, I will leave you on that note, and encourage you to watch his full testimony as it is ALIVE with God's promises. I hope his testimony reminds us... we aren't meant to come to God as the perfect Christian. We are meant to come to God in our Truth. God will meet you in your broken place and restore your soul to peace! Just call out to him. He loves us and wants us to walk with him as beloved children. 

I hope you have a blessed week and remember, I LOVE YOU ALL! 

Hello, My Friends!! Welcome to this week's episode of Testimony Tuesday, and boy, do I have a LOT to share. Some of you have noticed my writing absence, and I appreciate you all looking forward to these articles and checking up on me :D 

Recently, I completed a 5-week coaching course on identifying your strengths and skills. Once these are identified, the coaching helps you become the best version of yourself that God meant for you to be. This class has CHANGED MY LIFE! Here are my top five traits: 1. Relator: "Friendly, Loyal, Genuine" 2. Belief: "Certain, Passionate, Committed" 3. Consistency: "Fair, Passionate, Committed" 4. Context: Historical, Insightful, Reflective" 5. Connectedness "Philosophic, Purposeful, Interconnected."

I would guess a lot of you will confirm that these traits define me. The devil has kept a lot of this hidden from me, as I have always thought myself less-than. Also, a side note: a year ago, I was offered deliverance; maybe this was my "easy way out" option. This year, the same person who offered to provide deliverance ministry to me happened to be MY COACH during these sessions! You WILL do what God wants you to do one way or the other. God told me, "You didn't want to pray and be rid of these demons, so now I am going to fix how you think about things!" 

The coach helped me write down everything the world has spoken about me, and then asked God who I really am. God spoke to me, "You are a champion of people and a comforter." Yes, Lord! I do go to bat for people who are important to me, and for the children who are voiceless victims of systematic abuse. The coach told me, "As God has created you to be a comforter, the devil works in the opposite and encourages you to comfort yourself." THIS WAS THE KEY TO UNLOCKING MY SOBRIETY! From that moment on, I have decided not to self-soothe with the bottle. Instead, I am working on a Read the Bible in a Year plan, and I am thoughtfully reading the Bible to learn more about who God is, while I am truly learning who I was created to be.

Once, I wrote that I was a 'functional suicidal', that I had the 'gift of pain', and that I go through storms so that others may avoid them. While some of this may be true, the coaching helped me see through the lies the devil has always told me, and the reason God built me this way. Oh! What a treat it is to be seen and loved by God! 

Reading the Bible has been so much fun. I just finished Exodus, and whew, that was a long, detailed book of the Bible. Some Ally highlights- "Why is God such a perfectionist? The measurements of the tabernacle are long and so precise." (Exodus 38:21) The same week I asked this question, God showed me some information on the building of the tabernacle and the Priest's Breastplate. God always speaks to me in synchronicities! 

Learning who I am and how others think has been so helpful in many relationships. I CAN FINALLY UNDERSTAND MY MOTHER! The coaching has helped me take a pause and think about the person's response to what I am thinking/ communicating. The coaching has helped me speak these words, "I like who I am" or "I like myself," and that has NEVER happened in my life. I was always just here for the experiment with a longing to return home to our Lord.

I can now proudly say I am 30 days sober from alcohol. I am working on the cigarettes and junk food, but one thing at a time. I have given myself some grace so I can maintain my sober living from alcohol. I seem to be less reactive and angry and more patient and content. Oh! And I also got a raise last week, so it appears that God is rewarding me for all my hard work!  

I titled this article "Born-again Christian" as that is truly what is happening in my life. In my sin, I was dead. I was a zombie walking around, just going through the motions. I have always been a Christian, but not a strong warrior for Christ. I have always focused on outreach and creating harmony between people, but have never stopped to create the harmony inside myself. This past month, I have really come alive! The dust covering my heart has been swept away by God's grace and Love! I truly have been born again! 

God is so good, so patient, so loving. He never stopped fighting for me when I couldn't fight for myself. I am on fire for the Lord, He is my best friend, and I want to share that relationship with everyone. God wants our companionship, and he knows our stupidity before we even do! Trust the process, it is hard and scary, and it's easier living a dead life than a life rooted in Christ, but it is so worth it! Today, I commit to taking up my cross and following Jesus. Will you join me in doing the same?

Be blessed this week, my friends! Be transformed knowing that God created you especially for a time as this, and you have all the tools you need to overcome the enemy. Remember, (1 John 4:4): "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31). Please know that if you need a friend to chat with, if you need some uplifting in Jesus' name, I'm your girl! I hope you all become exactly who God meant you to be! Have a blessed week in Jesus' name! Amen <3