Hello Friends! Thanks always to our friend @prayingtogether for always sending me suggestions when I am too busy to think! Today, I was able to watch one he sent me; a quick video about repentance.
Boy, when God speaks we are going to listen to him one way or another. Over the past few months, I have shared my battles with you all regarding drinking and smoking; my comfort vices. Some weeks it is a win for the Lord and I won't touch anything. Other weeks, I am back to drinking a 6 pack each night and buying a pack of smokes.
We are such simple creatures, yet we make things so complicated. Sarah made a good point about relapse. She asked, "Why would I go back to something that I gave up as an offering to the Lord? And how did this happen?" We all want to be measured by our good deeds, but we often "mess up and fall into sin" By allowing herself to compromise and falling away from spending time with the Lord each morning, she allowed the cracks to open up and sin and the Devil to come in.
This was a beautiful message, speaking directly to me. I've had a horrible summer so you know what I did...I justified my actions. "I will quit when summer is over" "I've had a long week, I need this" and on and on... I NEVER feel better after drinking or smoking and I always feel worse. My body feels worse, my soul feels worse and I am once again ashamed and in the chains that God loosened for me once before.
I think it is incredible; the God of the universe is patient with me and forgives me each time I ask. I think its amazing, that his love for us redeems us over and over again. And I'm sorry that I fail in my flesh over and over again. The best thing is I get to try again!
I might need deliverance, I might need healing, I might need grace and forgiveness.... but at least I am not lost and apart from the Father. I am not prideful and will most likely always fail, but the God who created me knows this and loves me anyway.
Once again, I'm going to try to stick with my sacrifice and tell my flesh no. It might not be successful today, or tomorrow, but the desire to change is a good place to start! I pray for you all my friends, in my weakness you all give me strength and I am so proud to be able to walk with you and God today! Blessings <3